Battle Disappointica - 101

I had a tweet come in today asking me how I deal with disappointment. I laughed sympathetically, as this is something I know all too well in my type of career and I'm pretty sure something we all face and can relate to. I hope this helps. xo

It's been one of those days when it feels like nothing is going your way and your frustration and bewilderment at how your life is moving in a direction that you had not planned for, seems to be turning into a reality with every second that passes by. You want to throw your hands up in the air because you're doing everything you can, so why, why, why, does it feel like the universe is against you? 

Breathe. Close your eyes and then take a few more deep breaths. Tell yourself, 'I'm human and yes this really sucks right now but things WILL only get better.' There is somewhere within us, the power to heal ourselves - it's breathtaking and quite miraculous.

Two paths lay before you. One path is to indulge and revel in the disappointment and let those negative feelings absorb us and dictate what tomorrow will be. Bizarrely, sometimes, we find that comforting and a much easier choice to fall into. The other path is much tougher. It's the one where you pick yourself up and start all over again. Tough, right? Because right at this moment, all you wanna do is say 'F*** it!' Why on earth would you want to do it all over again with the possibility of failing - again?! 

Step forward that miraculous part of your being, where you say to yourself: 'I love me more than anything and sometimes I'll get it right and sometimes I won't and that's okay too. I'll learn from this and I will become better for it because I believe in myself and there's no way in hell I'm giving up on myself or what I believe in. I will fight for my dreams and see this through because this is my precious life. I will focus on the things that are within my control and let go of the things that are not. The way I react and deal with these challenges is going to shape me into a better person and give me some amazing stories to tell to my grandchildren one day. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of what is staring back at me: a person who is perfectly not perfect and can deal with whatever life presents.'

All the twists and turns in our life's journey are blessings. Some of them make sense, and some don't but they all lead to something better. One of my mentor's told me that it's only when you hit a wall, is when the miraculous breakthrough happens. 
Just when you least expect it, you'll surprise yourself and find the strength and the courage to smile again. A life spent being fearful or afraid to try again is a life wasted, and filled with regret. Who wants that? I don't. Hell, no!

TGITPG xoxo 

Thought for the Day: Rejection 101

I am asked all the time about my thoughts on rejection, and believe you me, I have had my fair share of rejection on all levels, both in past relationships, friendships, and in my career. It's something I am proud of. It says I'm human, like everyone else, and whilst it may pinch like no tomorrow, the fear and perhaps hurt feelings at the time, begin to wear thin and we end up surprising ourselves, with just how strong we are. It's okay to love ourselves and it's okay to forgive ourselves too. Where there's rejection, there is a lesson learned, and a renewed hope for something so much better, waiting for us, that we deserve. 

80% of the time, the answer is a 'no'. But the other times, 20% is a 'yes' and that is what you have to focus on. I am not one to sugar coat anything. But if your love and passion for making that particular dream come true,(whatever it may be) is palpable, and more then 100%, then that 80% is irrelevant and is nothing but a drop of water in the ocean. 

No excuses. No over thinking anything. I just follow my heart and my instinct and do what feels right, because I know I only have this one life to live, and life is really too short and precious to not live the life I want for myself. Now what about you....:) 

TGITPG xoxo

Photo from: http://twentyorsomething.com/2011/03/28/a-drop-in-the-ocean/

Round 15: The Knock Out

I love boxing and I especially love watching boxing games with my Papa. Seeing his inner kid's enthusiasm spill out when he's watching a big fight, is entertainment in itself! I was watching a fight on TV the other evening and it got me thinking about some of our greatest boxing legends, like Muhammed Ali, Joe Frazier, and George Foreman. What was their secret formula to success?  From watching some footage of those games with my Papa, you could smell their stamina, focus, concentration, intelligence and determination - never giving up. I can see how those qualities would be important for what I do or for any other goals one might have. I know I've been 'knocked out' hundreds of times in the 'boxing ring', except my boxing ring is the casting room! I've been either knocked out as soon as I walk in, cause I don't look right for the part, and then other times I get knocked out at the very end, when it's down to me and another gal. (Must admit, that can pinch hard, when you get that far, and you're so close, but then it doesn't go your way) But like every great boxer, if they got knocked out, they'd find the strength inside to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again. That's what I've been doing since I was 4 years old. Whether it was when I was bullied at school, or when I didn't win a singing competition when I was in my teens, or when I didn't land that great part I wanted so badly. It's funny, no one really wants to talk about the 'knock outs' they might have had...you don't hear so much about them, - only the triumphs. But, I've learned that the rejections are just as important to the growth of one's journey, and I bet you anything, for every rejection, comes a pretty cool story behind it as well! :) The beauty of rejection or falling, or making a mistake is that I learned from each and every one of them, and I hope that's made me a better person, a better actor and a better artist. Those twists and turns helped me reach my future milestones, and we all have milestones in our lives, to celebrate and be proud of. :) (Credit to Anokhi Magazine Founder, Raj Girn for telling me that). Sometimes we're just too busy to notice them. Hands up, I'm guilty of that sometimes. lol But it's only when we look back, can we connect the dots and everything seems to make sense all of a sudden. 

I laugh wholeheartedly when someone says to me, 'everything comes so easy to you, Karen.' If I've made it look easy, then let me endearingly enlighten you all and say, I wish! It most certainly did not come easy, but then again, anything worth achieving, is never going to be an easy path. But it also doesn't have to be impossible either, and the great thing about following your heart is that you're less likely to have any regrets, no matter how challenging the path may be... Saying that, the irony is that my role as Kayla Graham, in Touch, literally happened overnight! But let's just say it was a very loooooooooooong night to get there. But I'm glad it was...I am constantly learning every day on this journey, and whatever 'knock outs' I've had in my life, they've made me hopefully a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little more prepared for the next step down this winding road... No matter what happens, I'm still excited about what's possible... 

A New Year Is Born. Happy 2012!

Play this song first before you read the blog! :)

I remember this time of year, last year. I was home in Toronto with my family, celebrating the holidays after 4 years of being away during Christmas. It was sooooo good to be home with everyone. I felt safe....almost too safe. But that's what the comforts of home, sweet home brings, especially during Christmas and New Years. But there I was, sat in front of the Christmas tree, reflecting as you do, when you've reached the end of yet another year gone by way too quickly. You realize you survived a crazy year, full of ups and downs, twists and turns and falls and are still breathing and still in wonder of what could possibly be around the corner? Life seems to happen at lightening speed, as each year arrives. Sometimes, I wish I could just stop the clock, and freeze those 'safe' moments into place...but nah, that wouldn't be 'living' now, would it? 

December 2010, I had made some big decisions with my life. In this case, with my career. I changed my team after 11 years. It was not an easy decision, as my old team meant well and were good at heart, but the shoe just no longer fit. I remember vividly how scared I was, wondering if I had done the right thing or not, and asking myself over and over, what would 2011 bring, now that I was starting a whole new chapter? I had to look for a whole new team, who believed in me, and who would connect all the wonderful but complicated dots on the table in front of me. But thankfully, I have some amazing people around me,  who constantly told me that sometimes in life, you have to take that leap of faith and know that you will land on your own two feet, and everything will be more than fine. Thank God for those heroes in my life... So that was then, and this is now...December 31st, 2011. Am I scared? Hmmm...maybe a little,  more like a 'good kind of scared'. But one thing about each new year passing by, is that you become a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little calmer and more open to whatever is possible. 

This year had to be the most challenging years of my life, and I'm not afraid to say it, although it's not something that I dwelled on. That's not my style. It's all about having the courage to keep going, and the faith to know that really, my challenges, were just fancy problems and totally fixable. Over the summer, I embarked on a path of enlightenment (at some point in everyone's life, this happens), and it was the best thing to have ever happened to me, making this year also one of the best years of my life as well. I realized that my life is a gift. My life is great, and that I didn't want to end up being that donkey chasing after the carrot, and thinking that life would be great when I got that carrot. I finally learned how to live in the 'present'.  Something which sounds so easy but is one of the most toughest things to do. lol And funnily and mysteriously enough, as soon as I started to live in the present, is when my life started to make more sense. Little did I know in December 2010, that I would be filming in Cape Town again, writing and developing my music with new songwriters & producers, signing with a great new team, doing a gig for all my fans in June, then filming a cameo in Barcelona for a Robert DeNiro movie, to then end up playing the role of my dreams, Kayla Graham, in Touch. My childhood dream had finally come true. I got to act on tv and and sing too, just like Olivia Newton John did in Xanadu... :)  The 4 year old girl in me is relieved and gratefully excited, and yet I feel so silly now, thinking back to how anxious I was this time a year ago....but I guess that's human nature. The dots only connect and make sense when you look back and reflect. I get that now. 

Every chapter, and every milestone that happens in our lives, brings another piece to add to the puzzle of our lives. And it's only at the end of each year, do the pieces start to fit into one another and help us understand the bigger picture of what our lives are about and where it's all going. So I guess my point in all this, is that there is so much to be excited for on the eve of a new year...so much to hope for, so much to pray for, and so much to be grateful for. 

December 31st, 2011.  Wowsers, I guess I did land on my own two feet. I may have had a few bumps along the road this year with some of the changes in my life, but I'm okay and I'm happy and I'm so glad for everything that has happened this year. And secretly, yes, I'm wondering what 2012 will bring for all of us, but I have a huge smile on my face that whatever does happen, we all have each other and that's all that matters. 

Happy 2012. I wish all of you a new year FULL of more hopes, more dreams and more stories to tell! 

Yours Always, TGITPG xoxoxo

The Best Present is Being Present.

If I believed everything that some people have said to me throughout my life, then I definitely wouldn't be at this point where I am now. Where is this point exactly? Well, I've reached a point in my life where I can connect the dots and see that everything I did or didn't do, or anything that happened or didn't happen, happened for a reason. And it feels great to have no regrets and a smile on my face knowing that I have always followed my heart. So, that point. :)

I think it takes an inner strength or maybe not being so darn stubborn within, to be happy with what we have - never wanting to be the donkey chasing after the carrot, and once you got the carrot, you want more, kind of thing. Easier said then done, I know! Maybe it's because it's that time of year, when we all look back and reflect on the year we've had, but the more I think about it, the more I realize, it's all about the here, and now. I never quite understood that simple concept. 'The present'. Something so simple and yet something so ridiculously hard to do sometimes! I'd like to think that the life experience, the knocks, the falls, and the stumbles that happen along the way, will all one day align into place and make total sense. For me, it already is starting to make sense, and to be honest? Alleluia! lol I'm excited, and grateful for all the things in my life, and I wish that for each and every one of you too. To be able to wake up with a smile on your face, excited about each new day and be intrigued and curious by what may lie around the corner for you. That's what keeps me in love with the miracle of life, and all that it is and isn't. Everyone has a different story to tell, and with each new day comes the possibility of creating a new memory, and a new story to share in the journey. 

See what Christmas and the new year do to me? Always without fail, makes me reflective, sentimental and humbled. It's my favourite time of the year. I love the good will, and good cheer that comes with the festive season. But most all, it reminds me so much of when I was a kid, and how my pocket Mama, would decorate the whole house with garlands, wreaths, hanging up the Tweety-Bird and Sylvester Disney stockings (she still has them) and putting up the Christmas tree. Oh it was so magical! I'd sleep under the tree in my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag, an empty cup of hot cocoa by my pillow, my family dog, KoKo, at my feet, with all the presents underneath. And yes, when I go home for Christmas, I have to do the ritual, sleeping under the tree thing, but this time with my dog, Bugsy and in my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag! My back may hurt on Christmas morning for a little bit, and my parents may think I'm a little too old to be doing that, but - it's my quirky way of connecting to my childhood. Funny, come to think of it, and since we're speaking of childhood and presents under the tree, it was so easy to live in the 'present' as a kid. We just did, we just believed, we just went for it  - we could just 'be'.... So that's what I'm going to do for the rest of this year and hopefully in 2012 too, just 'be', and who knows what doors will open next year, but for now, I got my hot cocoa in hand, and 'the present' seems mighty fine to me....

Merry Christmas to all the heroes, saints and inspirers. I wish you all the happiness and peace. 

Yours Always, 

The Girl In The Pink Glasses

Buzzing with the Bees

I remember at one point in my childhood when getting stung by either a bee, a hornet, a wasp or a queen bee became an annual tradition. I was so accustomed to the bee stinging ritual, that when it did happen, I would just calmly watch the 'buzzer' do it's thing and bizarrely, the instant pain would no longer bother me. By the 3rd time, I was a pro! Each incident happened when I least expected it and when I was busy doing something. The first was playing tag with my neighbours' kids and I ran near a rose bush. STING! The second time was on my neck, whilst I was playing double dutch in the school play yard. My 4th grade teacher said that my neck had looked like it was kissed by a vampire. How he thought that would make me feel better, I have no idea! The third time was on my elbow, when I was playing baseball at a crucial part in the game. Tied - 4 all. Full count, bases loaded, 2 out. I was about to pitch and then I got stung. What perfect timing!!! We lost the game... :( And the final time was when I was at the amusement park. I had seen a ride that I was dying to go on, and I pointed towards it in pure excitement, and guess what?!?! I got stung. I managed to somehow cross paths with a queen bee as I pointed towards the ride. I think I was more upset that I never got to go on that ride, then the fact that my forefinger had become the size of my hand.... So you can then imagine the following year, when I didn't get stung, I thought something was very wrong! But after a few years of being sting-free, the annual ritual was finally broken!

As I was walking to the gym today, I could feel more so, the last traces of another summer gone by. Leaves and acorns scattered on the ground,  and yet there were flowers still blooming, and lots of bees buzzing by me everywhere. Some would come right at me, as if they wanted to walk and hang out with me for a bit. If this was years ago when I was 10, this would've been the part when I would scream and run about in sheer panic with my hands waving wildly in the air -  but not now. They don't scare me anymore. They're actually quite harmless, and seeing as how when a bee stings, it dies shortly after, I don't think they'd really have the intention from the get go, of wanting to let their 'stinger' go... It made me think. I've had much worse 'stings' in my life. Love and heartache, to losing a family member, to the opposite end of not landing the role I wanted so badly, or when some things didn't work out the way I thought they would, or when some people you thought you knew, turn out to be total strangers. Yep, all those things can really sting. But the good news is that the sting doesn't last forever. The 'swelling' of pain eventually subsides, and the sting becomes nothing more then an irritating itch, which then finally disappears.

My folks always remind me, it's what you do after you get stung. (It's annoying how they're always right!) Revenge or bitterness are the Adam's apple. But I've been taught instead, to take the challenging option, where you learn from it. In some cases, I try and forgive myself if I've made a mistake, (sometimes it's hard to do), and promise myself never to make the same mistake again. Ever make a promise to yourself? It's the hardest thing to keep but yet it's the most important promise to keep. Letting yourself down is a cardinal sin. So I make it a point to make solemn promises to myself, which through thick or thin, I can keep and stick by. Only problem is, I made a lot of promises... I promised to never give up on myself, my dreams, my happiness and my faith that there are good people out there in this vast world, that miracles do happen, and that all of us can make a difference. As I write this, I'm thinking to myself, those are not easy promises to keep. But then I think of the bees buzzing around me today. There will always be a risk of being 'stung' and if I really wanted to, I could let them sting me. I could let the sting swell up into something bigger, but I have a choice. I can either be afraid or I can buzz along with them and get on just fine...

Yours Always, TGITPG xoxo