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Saturday, 31 December 2011

A New Year Is Born. Happy 2012!

I remember this time of year, last year. I was home in Toronto with my family, celebrating the holidays after 4 years of being away during Christmas. It was sooooo good to be home with everyone. I felt safe....almost too safe. But that's what the comforts of home, sweet home brings, especially during Christmas and New Years. But there I was, sat in front of the Christmas tree, reflecting as you do, when you've reached the end of yet another year gone by way too quickly. You realize you survived a crazy year, full of ups and downs, twists and turns and falls and are still breathing and still in wonder of what could possibly be around the corner? Life seems to happen at lightening speed, as each year arrives. Sometimes, I wish I could just stop the clock, and freeze those 'safe' moments into place...but nah, that wouldn't be 'living' now, would it? 

December 2010, I had made some big decisions with my life. In this case, with my career. I changed my team after 11 years. It was not an easy decision, as my old team meant well and were good at heart, but the shoe just no longer fit. I remember vividly how scared I was, wondering if I had done the right thing or not, and asking myself over and over, what would 2011 bring, now that I was starting a whole new chapter? I had to look for a whole new team, who believed in me, and who would connect all the wonderful but complicated dots on the table in front of me. But thankfully, I have some amazing people around me,  who constantly told me that sometimes in life, you have to take that leap of faith and know that you will land on your own two feet, and everything will be more than fine. Thank God for those heroes in my life... So that was then, and this is now...December 31st, 2011. Am I scared? Hmmm...maybe a little,  more like a 'good kind of scared'. But one thing about each new year passing by, is that you become a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little calmer and more open to whatever is possible. 

This year had to be the most challenging years of my life, and I'm not afraid to say it, although it's not something that I dwelled on. That's not my style. It's all about having the courage to keep going, and the faith to know that really, my challenges, were just fancy problems and totally fixable. Over the summer, I embarked on a path of enlightenment (at some point in everyone's life, this happens), and it was the best thing to have ever happened to me, making this year also one of the best years of my life as well. I realized that my life is a gift. My life is great, and that I didn't want to end up being that donkey chasing after the carrot, and thinking that life would be great when I got that carrot. I finally learned how to live in the 'present'.  Something which sounds so easy but is one of the most toughest things to do. lol And funnily and mysteriously enough, as soon as I started to live in the present, is when my life started to make more sense. Little did I know in December 2010, that I would be filming in Cape Town again, writing and developing my music with new songwriters & producers, signing with a great new team, doing a gig for all my fans in June, then filming a cameo in Barcelona for a Robert DeNiro movie, to then end up playing the role of my dreams, Kayla Graham, in Touch. My childhood dream had finally come true. I got to act on tv and and sing too, just like Olivia Newton John did in Xanadu... :)  The 4 year old girl in me is relieved and gratefully excited, and yet I feel so silly now, thinking back to how anxious I was this time a year ago....but I guess that's human nature. The dots only connect and make sense when you look back and reflect. I get that now. 

Every chapter, and every milestone that happens in our lives, brings another piece to add to the puzzle of our lives. And it's only at the end of each year, do the pieces start to fit into one another and help us understand the bigger picture of what our lives are about and where it's all going. So I guess my point in all this, is that there is so much to be excited for on the eve of a new year...so much to hope for, so much to pray for, and so much to be grateful for. 

December 31st, 2011.  Wowsers, I guess I did land on my own two feet. I may have had a few bumps along the road this year with some of the changes in my life, but I'm okay and I'm happy and I'm so glad for everything that has happened this year. And secretly, yes, I'm wondering what 2012 will bring for all of us, but I have a huge smile on my face that whatever does happen, we all have each other and that's all that matters. 

Happy 2012. I wish all of you a new year FULL of more hopes, more dreams and more stories to tell! 

Yours Always, TGITPG xoxoxo

Sunday, 18 December 2011

The Best Present is Being Present.

If I believed everything that some people have said to me throughout my life, then I definitely wouldn't be at this point where I am now. Where is this point exactly? Well, I've reached a point in my life where I can connect the dots and see that everything I did or didn't do, or anything that happened or didn't happen, happened for a reason. And it feels great to have no regrets and a smile on my face knowing that I have always followed my heart. So, that point. :)

I think it takes an inner strength or maybe not being so darn stubborn within, to be happy with what we have - never wanting to be the donkey chasing after the carrot, and once you got the carrot, you want more, kind of thing. Easier said then done, I know! Maybe it's because it's that time of year, when we all look back and reflect on the year we've had, but the more I think about it, the more I realize, it's all about the here, and now. I never quite understood that simple concept. 'The present'. Something so simple and yet something so ridiculously hard to do sometimes! I'd like to think that the life experience, the knocks, the falls, and the stumbles that happen along the way, will all one day align into place and make total sense. For me, it already is starting to make sense, and to be honest? Alleluia! lol I'm excited, and grateful for all the things in my life, and I wish that for each and every one of you too. To be able to wake up with a smile on your face, excited about each new day and be intrigued and curious by what may lie around the corner for you. That's what keeps me in love with the miracle of life, and all that it is and isn't. Everyone has a different story to tell, and with each new day comes the possibility of creating a new memory, and a new story to share in the journey. 

See what Christmas and the new year do to me? Always without fail, makes me reflective, sentimental and humbled. It's my favourite time of the year. I love the good will, and good cheer that comes with the festive season. But most all, it reminds me so much of when I was a kid, and how my pocket Mama, would decorate the whole house with garlands, wreaths, hanging up the Tweety-Bird and Sylvester Disney stockings (she still has them) and putting up the Christmas tree. Oh it was so magical! I'd sleep under the tree in my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag, an empty cup of hot cocoa by my pillow, my family dog, KoKo, at my feet, with all the presents underneath. And yes, when I go home for Christmas, I have to do the ritual, sleeping under the tree thing, but this time with my dog, Bugsy and in my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag! My back may hurt on Christmas morning for a little bit, and my parents may think I'm a little too old to be doing that, but - it's my quirky way of connecting to my childhood. Funny, come to think of it, and since we're speaking of childhood and presents under the tree, it was so easy to live in the 'present' as a kid. We just did, we just believed, we just went for it  - we could just 'be'.... So that's what I'm going to do for the rest of this year and hopefully in 2012 too, just 'be', and who knows what doors will open next year, but for now, I got my hot cocoa in hand, and 'the present' seems mighty fine to me....

Merry Christmas to all the heroes, saints and inspirers. I wish you all the happiness and peace. 

Yours Always, 

The Girl In The Pink Glasses