I remember this time of year, last year. I was home in Toronto with my family, celebrating the holidays after 4 years of being away during Christmas. It was sooooo good to be home with everyone. I felt safe....almost too safe. But that's what the comforts of home, sweet home brings, especially during Christmas and New Years. But there I was, sat in front of the Christmas tree, reflecting as you do, when you've reached the end of yet another year gone by way too quickly. You realize you survived a crazy year, full of ups and downs, twists and turns and falls and are still breathing and still in wonder of what could possibly be around the corner? Life seems to happen at lightening speed, as each year arrives. Sometimes, I wish I could just stop the clock, and freeze those 'safe' moments into place...but nah, that wouldn't be 'living' now, would it?
December 2010, I had made some big decisions with my life. In this case, with my career. I changed my team after 11 years. It was not an easy decision, as my old team meant well and were good at heart, but the shoe just no longer fit. I remember vividly how scared I was, wondering if I had done the right thing or not, and asking myself over and over, what would 2011 bring, now that I was starting a whole new chapter? I had to look for a whole new team, who believed in me, and who would connect all the wonderful but complicated dots on the table in front of me. But thankfully, I have some amazing people around me, who constantly told me that sometimes in life, you have to take that leap of faith and know that you will land on your own two feet, and everything will be more than fine. Thank God for those heroes in my life... So that was then, and this is now...December 31st, 2011. Am I scared? Hmmm...maybe a little, more like a 'good kind of scared'. But one thing about each new year passing by, is that you become a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little calmer and more open to whatever is possible.
This year had to be the most challenging years of my life, and I'm not afraid to say it, although it's not something that I dwelled on. That's not my style. It's all about having the courage to keep going, and the faith to know that really, my challenges, were just fancy problems and totally fixable. Over the summer, I embarked on a path of enlightenment (at some point in everyone's life, this happens), and it was the best thing to have ever happened to me, making this year also one of the best years of my life as well. I realized that my life is a gift. My life is great, and that I didn't want to end up being that donkey chasing after the carrot, and thinking that life would be great when I got that carrot. I finally learned how to live in the 'present'. Something which sounds so easy but is one of the most toughest things to do. lol And funnily and mysteriously enough, as soon as I started to live in the present, is when my life started to make more sense. Little did I know in December 2010, that I would be filming in Cape Town again, writing and developing my music with new songwriters & producers, signing with a great new team, doing a gig for all my fans in June, then filming a cameo in Barcelona for a Robert DeNiro movie, to then end up playing the role of my dreams, Kayla Graham, in Touch. My childhood dream had finally come true. I got to act on tv and and sing too, just like Olivia Newton John did in Xanadu... :) The 4 year old girl in me is relieved and gratefully excited, and yet I feel so silly now, thinking back to how anxious I was this time a year ago....but I guess that's human nature. The dots only connect and make sense when you look back and reflect. I get that now.
Every chapter, and every milestone that happens in our lives, brings another piece to add to the puzzle of our lives. And it's only at the end of each year, do the pieces start to fit into one another and help us understand the bigger picture of what our lives are about and where it's all going. So I guess my point in all this, is that there is so much to be excited for on the eve of a new year...so much to hope for, so much to pray for, and so much to be grateful for.
December 31st, 2011. Wowsers, I guess I did land on my own two feet. I may have had a few bumps along the road this year with some of the changes in my life, but I'm okay and I'm happy and I'm so glad for everything that has happened this year. And secretly, yes, I'm wondering what 2012 will bring for all of us, but I have a huge smile on my face that whatever does happen, we all have each other and that's all that matters.
Happy 2012. I wish all of you a new year FULL of more hopes, more dreams and more stories to tell!
Yours Always, TGITPG xoxoxo
